The mistakes visitors make without ever knowing.

Read this once, then relax

A list of mistakes can read as a list of traps, and that is not the spirit of this one. Thailand is among the most forgiving countries in the world for a foreign visitor, and none of the items below will cause a scene. What happens instead is quieter: a Thai host notices, says nothing, and adjusts their reading of the guest very slightly. Over a two week stay those small adjustments add up, and since each of these takes ten seconds to learn, learning them is good value.

They are ordered by how often we actually see them rather than by how serious they are, with one exception: the monarchy carries a legal dimension and is treated separately and factually at the end.

Feet: where they point and what they touch

This is the most common error and the most easily fixed. In Thai understanding the foot sits at the bottom of the body's order and the head at the top, and the meaning attaches to direction as much as to contact. Crossing one leg over the other so that the sole faces the person seated opposite is the everyday version, and it is worth watching for in a meeting room or a waiting area. The same applies to a sole pointing at a Buddha image, a portrait of the King or a shrine, which is why visitors sitting on temple floors tuck their legs behind them.

The contact version covers pushing a door shut with a foot, nudging a bag or a dropped item across the floor, resting feet on a table or the back of a seat in front, and stepping over a person sitting on the ground or over food laid out on a mat. Two related habits are worth mentioning because they surprise people. Thai banknotes and coins carry the King's image, so a note that blows away is picked up by hand rather than stopped with a shoe. And thresholds of temples and traditional houses have raised sills that are stepped over rather than stood on.

Heads: the part of the body nobody touches

The head is the highest and most personal part of the body, and adults do not touch each other's heads in Thailand at all. For visitors, the case that arises is affection towards children. Patting a child on the head is natural in much of the world, and common among Thai relatives, but from a stranger it is uncomfortable in a way the parent will not say out loud. A smile, a word to the parent and attention paid to the child achieve everything the gesture was meant to.

There is a related habit that visitors find charming once they notice it: when a Thai member of staff passes in front of a seated guest, particularly an older one, they stoop slightly so as not to carry their head above the guest's. Nobody expects a visitor to do the same, and doing it anyway is received warmly. The same logic explains why standing over a seated elder to speak to them reads as inconsiderate rather than attentive; step to the side or crouch.

Raised voices, and the argument that is already lost

Volume is the mistake with the largest consequences, because it is the only one on this list that changes how a problem gets solved. Thai social life prizes the cool heart, jai yen, and a guest who raises his voice at a front desk becomes, to everyone in earshot, the difficulty rather than the person with a difficulty. Practically speaking, the staff member freezes, the manager becomes cautious rather than helpful, and the outcome slows down.

The version that gets results is unglamorous and very effective. Ask for the manager rather than pressing the person in front of you. Move away from other guests. State what happened in two sentences, state what you would like done, give a name and a number, and stop talking. Where the matter is serious, follow it in writing to one named person. The same principle rules out correcting a member of staff in front of colleagues, or discussing one employee's fault with another; both put a Thai worker in an impossible position, and that position is resolved by silence rather than by fixing your problem.

Monks, temples and the camera

Photographing monks is not forbidden and Thai people do it constantly, but there is a distance at which a photograph becomes a study of a person rather than a picture of a place. A wide shot of a temple courtyard with monks in it is unremarkable; a close portrait taken without asking is intrusive in exactly the way it would be anywhere. Ask, with a gesture towards the camera, and the answer is very often yes. Inside a hall, look for the sign, because photography is sometimes restricted where images are venerated.

Two rules of monastic discipline affect visitors directly and are frequently tripped over. A monk does not accept an object directly from a woman's hand, so a woman places the item on a cloth or surface or passes it through a man; this is the monk's rule about himself, not a comment on the woman. And monks are not touched, which includes a hand on the arm or an accidental brush in a crowded train carriage, so leave a little space. Beyond that, do not sit higher than a monk, and give up a seat if one boards a full carriage.

The other temple errors are ordinary. Shoulders and knees covered for men and women alike, shoes off where the shoes are, voices low, and no climbing on a Buddha image or posing with your back to it. Thai law also restricts the export of Buddha images, which surprises visitors who buy a decorative head in an antiques market, so ask about permission before you buy.

The monarchy: the one with a legal dimension

We set this out plainly and without commentary, because a visitor is better served by accurate information than by hearsay. Section 112 of the Thai Criminal Code, the lese-majeste provision, makes it an offence to defame, insult or threaten the King, the Queen, the Heir Apparent or the Regent, and it carries substantial terms of imprisonment. It applies to foreign nationals in Thailand as it applies to Thai citizens, a complaint may be filed by any member of the public rather than only by an official, and it has been applied to material published online as well as to remarks made in person. It is a serious law and it is enforced. Anyone with a specific legal question should take advice from a qualified Thai lawyer.

What that means for conduct is straightforward. The monarchy is not a subject for a joke, a debate or a remark on social media while you are in the country. Treat royal portraits with care, do not use them as a backdrop for casual photographs, and do not deface anything bearing a royal image, including currency. When the national anthem is played in a public space at eight in the morning or six in the evening, stand still with everyone else, and stand for the royal anthem before a film in a cinema. Brief children and teenagers before arrival.

The smaller ones, collected

• Pointing at a person with an index finger; Thai people gesture with an open hand or the chin.
• Beckoning palm up with a curled finger; the Thai gesture is palm down, fingers waving inwards.
• Public displays of temper towards a spouse or a child, which draw more attention than whatever caused them.
• Sitting on a cushion or seat set aside for a monk, usually raised or set apart at the front of a hall.
• Handing or receiving something important with the left hand alone; both hands, or the right, is the courteous form.
• Assuming a smile means agreement; a Thai smile also covers embarrassment, apology and the wish that a difficult conversation would end.

And what happens if you get one wrong

Essentially nothing. Say kho thot khrap or kho thot kha, which is excuse me or sorry, smile, and continue. Thai hosts do not keep a ledger, and mai pen rai, roughly it is nothing, is close to a national reflex. The families our office has placed have between them made every mistake in this article, and the relationships that resulted are why many of them return to the same villa and the same staff every summer. Care is what registers, not accuracy.

This article describes social custom except where it states the law. The description of Section 112 is an outline only and not legal advice; consult a qualified Thai lawyer on any specific question. For rules on temple dress, photography inside halls and the purchase or export of Buddha images, confirm with the temple concerned and with the Fine Arts Department of Thailand, and check current visitor rules at royal sites with the site's own visitor information before you go.

This briefing is general information, not legal, tax or investment advice. Thai rules change frequently and individual cases differ. Verify current requirements with the relevant authorities, including the Immigration Bureau, the Board of Investment, the Land Department, the Department of Business Development and the Revenue Department, and take advice on your own facts before acting.