Travelling with elderly parents, comfortably.

The audit before the booking

Before we look at a single property for a family travelling with elderly parents, we ask six questions. How far can they walk unaided, in metres rather than in adjectives. Can they manage stairs, and how many. Do they use a wheelchair sometimes, always or never. What medication is taken, at what times, and does any of it need refrigeration. Is there a condition that makes heat or humidity genuinely difficult, as opposed to merely unpleasant. And has anyone in the family already spoken to their doctor about the journey. The answers change the shortlist entirely, and they are much easier to ask in April than to discover in July.

The most common gap is between how a family describes a parent and how that parent actually moves. Fathers in particular are described as fine, and are fine, over thirty metres of a familiar house. A resort where the room is two hundred metres from the restaurant along a path with four steps is a different proposition. We measure rather than assume, and where we cannot measure we ask the property for photographs of the actual route from the car to the room and from the room to breakfast. Good properties send them without complaint. The reluctance to send them is itself informative.

The room, and the route to it

• Ground floor, or a room close to a lift, with a step free route from the vehicle drop off all the way in.
• A walk in shower with a grab rail and a shower seat, rather than a bath with a lip.
• A bed at a height that can be got out of without help, which in some designer villas it is not.
• At least one chair with arms in the bedroom and one in the sitting area.
• Air conditioning that can be set at a comfortable temperature rather than a fixed cool, and a room that is not directly under a vent.
• Night lighting on the route to the bathroom, or a lamp within reach of the bed.
• A prayer space in or adjacent to the room, with a mat and the direction marked, so that no journey is required five times a day.
• A telephone or call button within reach, and someone who answers it at three in the morning.

Most of these can be arranged in almost any good property with notice, and almost none of them can be arranged at check in. Shower seats and grab rails are the two that reliably require lead time; hotels have them in storage and villas usually do not, in which case we hire them in. Wheelchairs are easy to rent in Bangkok, Phuket and Samui by the week and are worth having in the house even if the expectation is that nobody will use one, because the day somebody needs it is not the day to find one.

Medication continuity

We do not give medical advice and nothing here is medical advice. What we do is remove the logistics that interrupt a routine. Medication travels in original labelled packaging with a copy of the prescription and a doctor's letter listing everything taken, which prevents any question at the border and, more importantly, allows a Thai pharmacist or hospital to understand the regime instantly if something is lost. Anything requiring refrigeration needs a cold chain plan for the flight and a dedicated fridge at the property, not the minibar. Anything taken at a fixed time needs the time zone difference thought through on arrival day, when everyone is tired and the routine is most likely to slip.

For long stays there is a second question, which is whether the medication can be dispensed in Thailand if a course runs out. Some drugs are readily available, some are available under different brand names, and some are controlled and require a local prescription or are not available at all. This is a question for the family's own doctor and for the international department of the hospital they would use here, asked before travel, and it is worth asking for a stay of a month even when the family has brought what it thinks is enough. Customs rules on quantities of personal medication also apply and should be checked with the Thai authorities where a large supply is being carried.

Food that is familiar

An eighty year old on holiday does not want to be adventurous at dinner, and appetite in unfamiliar heat is fragile. The practical answer in a villa is a cook briefed before arrival on the household's actual dishes, with the ingredients sourced in advance rather than improvised. Bangkok's Middle Eastern quarter at Soi Arab, officially Sukhumvit Soi 3/1 near BTS Nana, supplies most of what a Gulf kitchen needs, and the same suppliers deliver to Phuket and Samui with notice. Rice, lamb, dates, Arabic coffee, the right bread and the right spice blends are all obtainable; what is not obtainable is a cook who guesses correctly without being told.

In hotels, the useful arrangement is a standing order rather than a menu. We agree three or four dishes the parents will eat, confirm the kitchen can produce them, and have them available every day whether ordered or not. For halal, the certifying authority is CICOT, the Central Islamic Council of Thailand, and certification is granted per establishment rather than per chain, so a certified outlet in one mall tells you nothing about the same brand in another. We verify per outlet, and for a villa we buy from certified suppliers and keep the kitchen's utensils and boards separate, which any competent villa cook will do once asked.

Hospitals, before anyone needs one

Proximity to a good private hospital is a genuine factor in where we place a family with elderly parents, and it is one of the reasons Bangkok, Phuket and Hua Hin appear more often on our lists than more remote islands. Bumrungrad International treats a very large international caseload, was the first hospital in Asia to earn JCI accreditation, provides medical interpreters in more than twenty five languages including Arabic at no cost to the patient, maintains referral offices in several Gulf countries and has halal food on site. Bangkok Hospital and Samitivej run comparable international departments. Phuket and Samui have private hospitals that handle most things and transfer to Bangkok for the rest.

What we arrange before arrival is unremarkable and takes an hour. The nearest appropriate hospital identified and its international office told that the family is in the country and for how long. A copy of medical summaries and medication lists lodged where they can be produced immediately. A doctor who makes villa visits identified, so that a minor illness at nine in the evening does not become a trip to an emergency department. Travel insurance checked for age limits and pre existing condition exclusions, which is where policies most often fail exactly the person they were bought for. We never recommend a treatment or a doctor; we make sure the address, the paperwork and the language support are ready.

Prayer without exertion

For an observant parent, the five daily prayers are the fixed structure of the day, and a property that makes each one a journey makes the whole stay tiring. So we arrange the room itself: direction marked discreetly, a clean mat kept in the room and laundered, a chair available for anyone who prays seated, and where possible a small adjacent space kept clear so that the bedroom is not rearranged five times a day. Wudu is easier in a walk in shower or at a low tap, and in villas we ask about the bathroom layout with that in mind.

For Friday, the calculation is distance rather than availability. Bangkok has many mosques, including Haroon Mosque in Bang Rak and the Foundation of the Islamic Centre of Thailand at Ramkhamhaeng, and Phuket and Krabi have mosques throughout. What matters for an elderly father is the walk from where the car can stop to where he will sit, and whether there is somewhere to sit. We check that in advance and choose accordingly, and if the answer is difficult, praying at the villa with the household is not a failure of the arrangement.

The shape of an unhurried day

The best days we plan for grandparents contain one thing. A morning at the water before the heat, or a drive to a garden, or an hour in a mall that has been chosen because the car can stop at the door and the walk to the seating is short. Then the house, lunch, rest, prayer, and the family arriving back in the late afternoon with things to report. The dinner is the event. Anything more than that is planned for other people and endured by the person it was supposedly for. Families who accept this early get four weeks in which the grandparents are genuinely well; families who fill the diary get two weeks and then a difficult fortnight.

Medication rules, availability and permitted personal quantities change and vary by drug. Confirm with the prescribing doctor, with the Thai Food and Drug Administration or the Royal Thai Embassy in your country regarding what may be carried, and with the international patient office of the hospital you would use in Thailand. Nothing here is medical advice.

This briefing is general information, not legal, tax or investment advice. Thai rules change frequently and individual cases differ. Verify current requirements with the relevant authorities, including the Immigration Bureau, the Board of Investment, the Land Department, the Department of Business Development and the Revenue Department, and take advice on your own facts before acting.